Even before this summer term had started, it promised to bug the hell out of me. My bachelor thesis is waiting to be written and needs to be done by the end of term, so I decided to take some time off before I could not delay my work anymore. The only problem was that my financial situation wasn’t the best. Like always. But we students seem to have a talent for finding cheap solutions in whatever situation we are. A well known low-cost carrier was offering some really cheap flights from Salzburg to London and back. At the time it seemed like a perfect offer. But I work for the airport and had already had some startling experiences with this particular airline. I should have known better.
Booking the flight via the internet was actually not problematic at all. However, I should have been suspicious when the final air fare appeared at the latest. The flight itself was as cheap as a handful of jelly beans. While booking it almost felt as if I might be the reason for the airline’s coming bankruptcy. That was before the final price appeared on the screen with thousands of extra charges. Since it took me an eternity until the final step of booking, I submissively accepted the extra costs in order to finally get the booking over with. And hey, I still paid ten euros less than with a regular airline that provides services like saving ones life in case of emergency. What the heck! Statistically speaking going by airplane is still one of the most secure ways of travelling.
Because I work for the airport, I know pretty much everything about the special requirements of low-cost carriers. So I told my friends about a thousand times that only fifteen kilograms are allowed per piece of luggage. As if that wasn’t enough, I wrote them a detailed sheet of travel instructions with the very melodic title “Luggage allowance of fifteen kilograms means FIFTEEN-POINT-ZERO unless you wanna pay through the ass!” Of course the guys did laugh at me. And OF COURSE we did have to repack our stuff, because one suitcase was too heavy. Since the ladies who checked in our flight are my colleagues, they really had to suppress a smile while we scattered our stuff on the (not very clean) floor of the airport. After our little logistics exercise, we managed to check in our bags without paying an additional fee.
We were travelling with a Boeing 737-800, which at least meant that it wasn’t a tiny little propeller plane. I had to admit though that it looked like a children’s toy compared to an Airbus or the Boeing 747. However, this plane promised at least some measure of comfort. That’s what I figured. The 150 seats seemed to be like custom-made for children or anorexics. Since my female nerves are not too resilient when it comes to matters of body mass index, I tried to ignore how huge I looked in those mini seats and gazed out of the window where a loading agent was rudely kicking suitcases into the cargo hold. That was the moment when I was glad that my brother had used like fifty metres of duct tape to seal our suitcase.
When the stewardess’ safety performance started, I didn’t pay too much attention. I was concentrating on not moving for fear that I might be trapped in my seat forever. (That’s probably also the reason why stewards on low-cost carriers don’t serve any free food on the flight.) The stewardess in the front did grab my attention when she showed us how to use the safety jacket. She explained how easy it is to handle this indispensable safety tool. You just have to take it out from under your seat and… well. There, she paused, because her safety jacket obviously wasn’t underneath her seat. It actually didn’t even take her a full second to get one from the front cabin. I am not afraid of flying but from that moment on I didn’t trust anyone on the crew of this shabby plane. Oh dear.
Rushing down the runway I already felt the tingling sensation take-offs always cause. My ears started ringing and my head felt like it was being pushed back into my seat. And for the first several metres you’re above ground it feels like the contents of your stomach are working against you. This seemed especially true and was probably why about half of the passengers flocked to the toilets as soon as they were allowed to open their seat belts. Luckily enough, low-cost carriers are not allowed to charge people for using the toilets. The airline we were travelling with seriously tried to enforce this restriction last year but it was apparently against passengers’ human rights to deny them free access to a toilet. I am still wondering how long it is going to take until the low-cost carriers start offering standing areas on planes and selling seats for twice as much.
The flight from Salzburg to London did not take too long. In fact, we were ahead of 110 minutes schedule. But after managing to sit still throughout the flight, I was dying of thirst. Smart as I am, I had bought a bottle of water beforehand. Obnoxious as my brother is, he’d taken it out of my bag and drank it. And while this wouldn’t ordinarily have been a problem, on this plane it was. I refuse to pay a fortune for a little more than a sip of water out of a small plastic bottle. My thirst was fighting against my principles. What more can I say? I stood by my principles and, as soon as we had set foot on British soil, I tossed down my first ale.
If you’re on a budget and you’re planning on flying to London or any other low-cost carrier hub, I wouldn’t advise against it. It’s really cheap and if you know how to avoid additional fees, it’s absolutely fine. However, you’ll need steady nerves to survive the flight. If you suffer from aviatophobia, don’t even think about going. Instead, pay a little more to feel safe and secure during your flight. Be advised that low-cost carriers would prefer to leave you behind rather than wasting time listening to your individual needs. Furthermore, booking a flight with a low-cost carrier requires a lot of self-reliance. You better learn the conditions by heart beforehand.
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