Learning with the OeBB. Lesson One: Beware of the ‘digital oldies’.

Have you ever been sitting in the train and been annoyed because somebody was either listening to music or talking on the phone way too loud? I have – more than once. Since I commute from Upper Austria to Salzburg five days a week, I spend lots of time on public transportation. All in all, I am on the road three hours a day (20 min. on bike, 50 min. on the train, 20. min on the bus to university and the same amount of time back), which makes 15 hours a week. At first it was annoying, but any lingering boredom was dispelled when I found out that the Austrian railway travel providers OeBB and Westbahn aren’t just there for getting people from one place to another. No. The OeBB or Westbahn and the people on the train actually teach you about life, the universe and everything. Allow me to explain:  

 Learning with the OeBB. Lesson One: Beware of the ‘digital oldies’.

The digital natives had it for years; it’s now turn for the digital immigrants to take over and become the driving force of technological development. For a long time, we thought that older people were completely lost when it comes to the use of computers and smartphones. But recently, I have realized that we were flat-out wrong.

March 22, 10:02. I want to introduce you to Maria, the person sitting behind me on this trip. Maria is, based on the greyish color of her hair and the wrinkles on her face, between sixty and eighty years old. Ensconced in the blue-patterned seat, with her legs straight, it is obvious that taking the train is routine for the Maria. The old lady loves to travel and she loves to talk about her travels with her friends and loved ones, not only at home but also on the road. Maria has never owned a computer and has never bought her train tickets online, but for two years she has been in possession of an light-blue old Nokia 3410. (No Bluetooth, no mp3 player, not even a camera. In short, nothing.)

As the train leves the station starting our 50 minute trip, Maria, pulls out her phone and dials a long number, eager to tell her friend what happened to her three days before.

"Anna? Can you hear me?!"

No, you're only screaming into your phone! Everyone in the compartment can hear you as if you were standing next to them. So, just keep on talking in that horrible pitchy voice. Maybe Anna can hear you without her phone if she listens carefully enough. I turn around and stare at Maria. Pressing her phone against her ear, Maria stares right back at me. I guess she doesn’t get the hint.

 

“Anna, you won’t believe where I am right now! Anna, well, erm  […] I went to Gmunden yesterday… and guess whom I met there…”

I’m sure Anna is absolutely thrilled to get this crucial piece of information. And there it goes, the 50 minute monologue, full of descriptions of Maria’s last five days and descriptions of whom she met while travelling, followed by endless repetitions of everything she said before in order to make sure that Anna knows everything about the lovely waiter in the charming old café in Linz, where Maria had a green tea and ate a slice of Linzer Torte three days ago.

“Tickets, please.”

It’s the train conductor. Everybody grabs his ticket; only Maria sits there and keeps talking about the wonderful time she had in Gmunden yesterday evening. <i>How>/i> is it possible that she’s had reception this whole time? Normal people wouldn’t have. Depending on which side of the compartment you sit, no less than seven black spots between the place I live and Salzburg. One look at my Samsung Omnia proves that my carrier’s claim of having the best reception in Austria is not true. No reception; again. Maria? Still on her Nokia 3410 raving about how she ate ice cream at the esplanade in the center of Gmunden. It’s at this moment when I realize that there has to be a net network carrier and technology, specifically designed to meet the needs of people like Maria.

 P1 – 100% free of black spots, 100,000,000 free minutes and only available to people over 60 years. Do you want to tell your daughter about the bamboo you’ve seen at the hardware store? Or do you want to tell your friend that you bought a set of dinnerware which perfectly matches the color of your new tablecloth? No problem with P1! P1 customers are able to phone their friends whenever and wherever they want to. Plus, when you sign a P1 contract you’ll get a mobile phone, like one of James Bond’s watches: old on  the outside, but inside it has the latest technology. Maria’s 3410 is only camouflage! Revolutionary technology, successfully tested by the US Army in the Sahara desert, makes it possible to be available 24/7, without fear of losing reception or battery charge. When you talk on your phone, the sound waves are passed directly on to the tiny engine inside, which then produces energy and fills the accumulator. You’ll never have to charge your phone again, you just have to keep on talking all the time; 50 minutes of talking result in a full battery. Use your spare time on the train to phone people you haven’t spoken to for a long time and inform them about your exciting life! Don’t worry about the other people on the train. As times have changed completely and more and more people become deaf from rock concerts and old age, no one will care about how loud you speak. It is all about you and what you want to tell the world! Forget the boredom and begin to enjoy being on the road!

Do I envy Maria? Absolutely not. When I get off the train 50 minutes later, my head feels like it’s about to explode and I am glad that the lack of reception keeps the temptation to phone a friend while on the road at bay and my phone bill low. And it also prevents my friends from being rattled by me. Maria’s friends? Well, I think they’ll have to live with their fates or change their phone numbers….

Photo 1: CannedTuna || http://www.flickr.com/photos/cannedtuna/466983614 || published under a Creative Commons license

Photo 2: Urban Don || http://www.flickr.com/photos/donpezzano/3257999418 || published under a Creative Commons license