Coffee 'n' Cats

 Image: originalcoffeecat

Whenever I think of cats, I get a warm and fuzzy feeling that floods through my body, similar to coffee that percolates through the moka pot. As soon as contact with coffee or cat is established, everything lights up, no matter how excruciating life may seem at that moment. Soaking my body’s every fibre, both transform bad thoughts into no thoughts at all, leaving only but a bittersweet aftertaste. Whereas the thought of cats and their actual presence usually calms me down, coffee has quite the opposite effect: it resurrects me. 

Without coffee, I’m one of the Walking Dead. It’s almost like alcohol. It’s addictive, and it’s noxious. My fellow sufferers know what I’m talking about: at first, you become sociable, then a wee bit hyperactive, insomniac, paranoid, infuriated; lastly, glum. Coffee is a disease; it needs to be treated. My name is CCL, and I have a problem.  

But for all that, my problem is a bit more complex, I fear. Not only am I addicted to coffee, but also to cats. Their damp pink noses make me ecstatic, their purring sounds soothe me, their soft fuzzy furs make me giddy with excitement. Heavens, I sound just like Sheldon.

However, the good thing about having two addictions is that you can easily be distracted from one of the two with the other one. Conveniently pleasant. This strategy proved to be partly successful until earlier this month when I heard about a café opening its (cat) doors. A cat café, apparently. Located in Vienna, in close proximity to St. Stephen’s Cathedral, the café serves coffee and cats at the very same time (except you don’t eat the cats, you only pet them while sipping your coffee). Now, if that doesn’t sound like paradise on earth, I don’t know what does. 

Takako Ishimitsu, the woman who came up with this concept, is targeting a rather niche market in Austria and Central Europe. In Japan, her country of birth, the concept of “coffee ‘n’ cats” isn’t unusual or uncommon at all. Tokyo alone hosts around 150 cat cafés. Although it sounds weird to put food and animals together in one public space, the idea itself isn’t weird at all. Even Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, dined with cats on her lap; at least she’s portrayed that way in several mural reliefs documenting her life and death in ancient Egypt. 

What might also provoke controversy among critics alongside the weirdness factor is the argument of “such cafés” not being sanitary. Dear critics, do you think, in all honesty, do you really think any Austrian admission board would commission such a venturous enterprise? Do you think any bank would finance an undertaking so risky? Would a faulty, unsanitary business idea be worth an irreversible pecuniary loss? Oh, and don’t forget about the lawsuits filed by Greenpeace, PETA, WWF, and Co.! 

No, but seriously, the creator and owner of Vienna’s new cat café had to make sure everything runs smoothly and according to high (Central European) standards: the café and its kitchen are spatially separated; the café is equipped with numerous retreats for the cats, so to give them the possibility to withdraw; and the coffee-sippers and cat-petters aren’t allowed to feed their feline friends. And in case of cat-scratch emergency, the café even serves plasters and antiseptics along with coffee and biscuits. By all means, if you as a critic think it’s a life-threatening undertaking to have a nice cup of Joe in such an unsanitary place, why would you even go there? Can’t you just have an equally good time somewhere else? 

Although initially Ishimitsu’s concept of the Viennese cat café was only supposed to attract elderly women who can’t have children cats on their own but can still enjoy their time out in a café with their equally elderly friends, the cat café now attracts all ages and genders (though you might’ve guessed, primarily cat ladies). But since more and more young people are growing lonesome in their large and lifeless city apartments in which they aren’t allowed to keep their own pets, the business attracts far greater audiences than expected. After all, what can be more relaxing than socialising over a cup of coffee with furry and non-furry friends at the same time (except maybe doing so in your pyjamas)?  

That being said, I shall spare you the insomniac details of the caffeinated madness that is “coffee ‘n’ cats”. Writing under the influence of caffeine and cats, this post might have touched upon spheres unknown to sanity. Goodnight, fellow sufferers. My name is CCL, and I still have a problem.