...meanwhile in Balconia

Image: Anna Marek

No, the title does not refer to the Balkans, but merely to the utopia of spending the perfect holiday on your balcony. “Utopia” is the Greek word for “no place” and sounds like “eutopia”, which means “good place”. Wouldn’t it be nice to combine these two and create the perfect hideout? No holiday is perfect, unless you make it happen. And what place would be better to prove this than your own home, where no one would expect you to spend your holiday (which, you see, makes a “no place” a “good place”)? The Utopia of Balconia!

For the next few weeks days, your balcony or patio most likely ranks highest amongst the places you will occupy. If you don’t plan your holiday beforehand, that is. As with any other holiday you’ve ever spent in a different country or even continent, you also have to make arrangements for your staycation in order for it to be relaxing and successful.

Planning the perfect holiday is a supreme effort and involves requesting vacation time, agreeing on where to go, booking your independent travel or package tour, PACKING, getting lost somewhere on the way, and working hard enough to afford the holiday in the first place. And even then, what about your cat, your dog, your friendly viper? Who’s going to look after them? What about your potted plants? Who’s going to water them? All these considerations make the option of spending your holiday at home all the more appealing.

But to come back to the planning stage: in order for your holiday to be exactly what you want it to be, you have to take care of your routine business right away. Your holiday has to stand out against your normal weekly routine, especially your usual proceedings during the week and on the weekend. That means you shouldn’t worry about catching up with anything that’s been left undone the week before. If you worked overtime, so be it. It’s time to relax now. 

Do the chores before you take a few days off work: mow the lawn; go grocery shopping; finish the outstanding paper, report, or essay. For your mind to be at ease you need to step away from your daily routine, and that routine includes anything that has to do with your work habits and usual proceedings. For some, refraining from calling in to work might seem more difficult than for others, but to achieve inner peace, this task is crucial. Turn off your mobile phone and don’t even think about turning on your computer. Don’t convey that you’re available, not to anyone. Remember, you’re vacationing in Balconia.

Now that we’ve set the record straight, let’s think about a few things for you to do during your sojourn in Balconia. Either you think about leaving the house, in which case there are LOTS of opportunities for you. Or you decide to pay your balcony due respect.

Option A: So you’ve decided to not leave the house. What about doing a DVD marathon with your partner and pets? Or setting up your hammock in the backyard? You can enjoy a good read under the trees, you can doze off, or you can cuddle with your partner when he gets home. If there is enough space you can also think about setting up a wading pool; the kids in your neighbourhood will envy you. Also, if you insist on not leaving the house, you can always choose to invite friends or family over for a BBQ and a wine tasting.

Option B: Alrighty, activities it is! Grab your bike and cruise to a neighbouring village or city, attend a lecture on art, go to the zoo, visit a museum, attend a concert, play mini golf with a close friend, go trekking with a stranger. Do whatever your heart desires. Once you’ve returned to your job you will have as much to talk about as your colleague who went to Belgium.

As you can see, spending your holiday in Balconia definitely has its advantages. It is far less costly than flying off to another continent or booking a package tour in a hotel complex. In Balconia, you don’t have to worry about squeaky mattresses or insipid food. It doesn’t take you forever to reach your destination, and it sure doesn’t involve lost luggage. You can go sight-seeing as easily as in any other country. You can spend your money in a restaurant at home as reasonably as anywhere else. Plus, it might even be fun to discover your hometown if you haven’t already done that.